Saturday, December 25, 2010

"Asians Sleeping in the Library" is a RACIST WEBSITE!

Asians sleeping in the library
Asians sleeping in the library

written by: Mr. APA

In the past few weeks, a new "tumblr" website has really picked up some steam.  It's called Asians Sleeping in the Library and it features Asian students sleeping in the library. (I sound stupid for having written that sentence)  Now I know it's all in good fun and the fact that so many Asian students have embraced it has added to the fun but beneath it all, I fear that we are promoting and ever growing problem of subtle racism by loving this website.  Damn Asian People!  Are we that desperate for attention that we'lll promote a website that's essentially making fun of us!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Fast Five: How Asian-Americans should do It?

Fast Five
written by: Mr. APA

So the trailer for the new Fast and Furious movie just came out check out my reaction and the trailer after the jump. 

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

It's Not ALL Hollywood's Fault - A look at The Warrior's Way

The Warrior's Way
written by: Mr. APA
 I am just as guilty as everybody else in this but so often on these blogs, we complain, complain, complain that Hollywood is holding us down and doesn't want to share our stories or put Asian American/Asian faces on the big screen.

Friday, December 3, 2010

Operation "Help an Asian Guy get a White Girl"

Hot Volleyball player
written by: Mr. APA

Hi guys,

super short today.  Sorry, if this post feels like spam.  This white girl I am "throwing some game" at is doing some dance contest for Aldo shoes.  Usually, I wouldn't pass this on to you guys but if she wins, she's going to donate all the money to anti sex trafficking so it's a good cause because if she wins, she fights sex trafficking and it also creates a better situation for me where I won't have to pay for sex which also fights sex trafficking so really, you're fighting sex trafficking two ways.

Monday, November 29, 2010

Steven Yeun - "The 'Asian Guy' on the Walking Dead

Asian Guy walking dead
Written by: Unfiltered

Asian Guy walking dead
Hello folks, it's been a while! Every Sunday night in the barracks here at Fort Dix I sit my ass down in front of the television at 10PM to watch AMC's "The Walking Dead" and you should too! The Walking Dead is based on a long-running comic book series that's just as good, if not better, than the actual show. Steven Yeun stars as Glenn, an Asian who formerly dabbled as a pizza delivery boy (wait, how many of those do I know?) and saves the protagonist of the show from getting devoured by zombies when he wanders into Atlanta alone on a horse.

Who is Steven Yeun?

Saturday, November 27, 2010

REVIEW: Agents of Secret Stuff by Ryan Higa and WongFu Productions

Ryan Higa Agents of Secret Stuff
written by: Mr. APA

So people are probably wondering, wtf?  You're reviewing a YOUTUBE video!?!?!?  You going to start reviewing WongFu Weekend videos too?

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Agents of Secret Stuff - Starring Ryan Higa and Arden Cho

Ryan Higa
It's out guys! That's right, Ryan Higa's new "Medium" film that he produced with Wong Fu Productions has just been released.  I've just seen it and man it's awesome!

The Jubilee Project - Watch YouTube, Save the World

Jubilee Project

written by: Mr. APA

Donate to Charity, get girls, KevJumba = genius

So when is the last time you could simply sit at your computer and without any cost to you, help get money donated to a charity.


(what about the Jumbafund where KevJumba donates all the money he earns on that channel to charity?) ------>

OK FINE!  Instead of saying "NEVER" I'll say...


But this post is about the Jubilee Project so...
What is the Jubilee Project? 

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

But I Can't Wear My Cape 'cause I would be Repeating a Mistake

Priscilla ahn
What's good?

j. taipei hitting you up with another article.


I figured after the last post, we need to redeem this blog with some good music. So today I want to talk about two lovely Asian-American singer-songwriters that have been under the radar for a lot of people.

Saturday, November 20, 2010


written by: Mr. APA

So no, Angelina does not have ANY ASIAN in here and I would never want to put ANY ASIAN in her but seriously, sometimes you hear something so awful, you just have to blog about it.  So check this out, she just released her "new single"called, "I'm hot"  (no i'm not joking, it's actually called, I'm hot) and listen to it... it's so bad, you may want to just let it play while you read the rest of this song because I'm not sure you'll be able to sit through this song.

And before you hit play, I just want to say "I'm sorry."

Angelina Jersey Shore
1) The INTRO
Ok so right away, it starts out awesome.  This is actually my favorite part.
"Hey guys, it's Angelina, the girl from Staten Island is back and there's nothing you can do about it."
 After playing this song five or six times so I could write about it, the song is now stuck in my head and Angelina is right, there's nothing I can do about it.  Kill me now.

2) The BEAT

So, this beat is awful.  It sounds like it was made on an old Dell Computer.  Do any of you remember Ace of Base (They made the song "I saw the sign.")  This beat actually sounds like Ace of Base took a shit and then put that shit in a box for ten years and then stored that piece of shit in a hot and damp place where mold grew on it over that ten year period and then they took it out and made this beat with it.


Usually, Autotune can save horrible singing, but here, the AutoTune i think actually makes her sound worse.  Listen carefully, i think the AutoTune GOES OFF TUNE in the first part of the song, like she was so bad, she SCREWED UP the AutoTune.  Her rapping part is actually considerably better than her song because I think Angelina has the anger needed for rapping.

Vanilla Ice
He has PaulyD's hair

Like, the one thing that the record company HAD CONTROL of was co guy she was singing with.  Like, Angelina has to be the star because it's her song, but seriously, they can pick anybody to pair her up with and they chose THIS DUDE?  Who IS THIS DUDE?  He doesn't even credit on thing song because he gets awesome lyrics like "Do it Angelina's way" , "It's Angelina - like you never seen her" (he has to change the "her" to make it rhyme with "Lina") "She's busting all the doors down in Hollywood, she's doing things that people thought she never couuuuld"

This guy actually sounds like a robot.  Like, they couldn't find anybody to do a song so they created a robot that sounds like VINNY and made this fake robot Vinny sing.  Actually, now that I think about it, it sounds like VANILLA ICE with AUTOTUNE.  I actually think it's Vanilla Ice with Autotune. "Ice Ice Baby" to this Angelina song.  How the defeated fall even lower. 


For fun, I'm just going to pick out some of my "favorite" lyrics from this song.
I'm hot, so hot
I'm like an Ice Cream cone with the Cherry on top
 She's as hot as an Ice Cream cone with the Cherry on top?  So what, she's a warm serving of ice cream?  I hated warm icream!  That's awful!  So wow, I agree, you are awful Angelina.
I came to play, I'm here to stay
I'll do it my way, everyday
Now since Angelina left the Jersey Shore house not once, BUT TWICE, I'll assume this is good news because even though she says she's here to stay, past history shows us that she'll be gone soon enough.
I even hopped a cop
and popped his crop
 WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!?!?  She hopped a cop and popped his crop?!!?!? What the heck is a crop?  Urban Dictionary doesn't even have these words in it.  I checked!  Angelina, I understand you're making a song and you're trying to make it rhyme but writing gibberish lyrics doesn't count AS LYRICS!

Angelina finishes the song by repeating the name of the song,  "I'm Hot, "I'm hot" over and over again.  I won't agree or disagree with this statement since I think commenting on how a girl actually looks is where I cross the line.  So I'll leave it at that.

We contacted Angelina for a comment on this article.  Here's what she had to say.

Yeah, "eff you" too Angelina, for making a song like this. EFF YOU TOO!

p.s. - after listening to this song a few million times, it's actually getting kind of catchy.  Have I COMPLETELY LOST IT? 

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

ViewerMail: Lionel FINALLY responds to 'Arthur'

[ A few weeks ago, Lionel wrote an article about Arden Cho (link) where we got a very mean comment which Mr. APA responded too (link)  Now Lionel is FINALLY responding to the comment]

written by: Lionel
Asian Gangsta
Lionel loves his mullet!
Thanks, Mr. APA, for putting out a great response to Arthur.  Very impressive.  Don’t mess with Mr APA because he will go gangster on you(in verbal or written form only).  He covered a lot of what I wanted to say.  Thanks, jerk!  Now what do I write about? 

Arthur’s attack:  I didn’t do any research on Arden except for her reel.
My defense:  Arthur, you are correct when you said I didn’t do much research about Arden.  I am not a hardcore fan of hers.  I don’t really care what she has to say or share in her Twitter or video blogs.  I didn’t and don’t pretend to have in-depth knowledge of her life.  But you obviously do.  I invite you to write an article about Arden for our blog or your blog.  You can do her the justice that I didn’t. 

Arthur’s attack:  I am “just another love sick loner on a laptop pretending to have some sort of knowledge about the entertainment industry.”
My defense:  I am not “just another love sick loner.”  I am THE love sick loner.  All the other guys are just copying me.  Get it right.  In addition, I do work in the entertainment industry so I do have knowledge of how it works.  That is why I am appalled by how things are playing out for Arden at this point.

Arden Cho
We're not even fighting over her and it's all heated.
Arthur’s attack:  I should learn who Arden is before “rub another one out to her reel.”
My defense:  I rather not find out more about her.  The more you learn about a woman, the more you look at them as more than just tits and ass.  No thanks.  That is a lesson your dad should have taught you.

Now with all the ugliness aside, there is enough hate within our community that I try not to add to it.  Maybe it is because of my good, holy Christian upbringing.  I don’t see the need to unfairly attack fellow Asians.  The key word is “unfairly.”  I think your heart was in the right place when you wrote your response, but your brain did not give you the capacity to comprehend my article.  Your enthusiasm for the defense one of our own is commendable, however, you can lay down your sword because I am not the enemy. 

Arden Cho
She's totally worth all this fuss.
The article was supposed to be humorous with serious implications behind it.  I was criticizing the Hollywood system for pigeonholing Asians to few roles and outdated stereotypes.  It is a shame that a girl as hot as Arden can’t even get around it.  Arden got it, you didn’t.  It was impressed that a beautiful girl like Arden had the intelligence and sense of humor to enjoy the article.  Beauty alone is not hard to find.  The real prize is having beauty with the brains to match it.  If worse comes to worst, then you settle for a decent-looking girl who will hold still long enough for you to stick it to her.    

More importantly, this blog is here for our community to promote and protect those within it.  Sometimes to help promote and protect our community I will be critical of those who represent us.  But this was not the case with Arden’s article.  I hope you continue to read our blog and comment because I love having this dialogue with our readers even those who are misguided.  These are opportunities for us to learn and grow from each other.

No hard feelings. 

Your Asian brother,

Monday, November 15, 2010

Teenage Dream comes true! Darren Criss (GLEE) made a REGULAR!

Darren Criss Glee
I hope he does California Gurls next!
written by: Mr. APA

Darren Criss who is half filipino (hence why we'll mention him on the site) dazzled the world last week with his rendition of Teenage Dream on the show GLEE.
'Glee' creator Ryan Murphy: 'I think there’s a hunger for him and a positive relationship role model. He’ll definitely continue through the year and longer. We just signed a deal with him.' [source: The Hollywood Reporter]
 Ever since the track came out last week, it's challenging Journey to be the number one selling GLEE track of all time.  So now, what will they do with him.
'Murphy was more mum on whether Criss’ character Blaine would become the boyfriend of Chris Colfer’s Kurt. “That I have not decided. We’re writing it. I want to see what people’s reaction to that is. Part of me thinks he should be the boyfriend, part of me thinks he should just be the mentor. I didn’t want to decide that until we got into sort of the middle of the season. We’re figuring it out now.”' [source: The Hollywood Reporter]
Teenage Dream Glee
Sing your heart out!
 I think this is awesome because Criss' character will become an awesome positive role model and portrayal of a LGBT character on TV.  [Spoiler alert] Criss' character had to face the same bullying too and had to leave his original high school but he challenged Chris Colfer's character to stay in high school and be a light in the darkness.   Very cool, congrats Darren Criss!

And for those of you who missed it, here's the video...

Saturday, November 13, 2010

Ryan Higa Cries for Far East Movement!

Ryan Higa
Maybe Ryan's crying because he misses Sean Fujiyoshi
written by: Mr. APA

Ryan Higa has come up to a new awesome level.  He's made his 2nd Far East Movement parody and this one is based off of Rocketeer! I know we have a lot of Far East Movement fans here so check it out!  This video also features KevJumba and ARDEN CHO!!

This video is actually being released on both KevJumba's and Ryan Higa's channel.  I think this is pretty awesome because it takes these YouTube collaborations to a new level.  In the past, a collab would be a rare gift but these days, Ryan Higa, Wong Fu, and KevJumba (and Arden Cho for that matter) seem to be working together non stop.  This is awesome because we are entering a new generation of Asians on Youtube and who knows, maybe a Hollywood exec will finally realize that the millions of fans that Ryan Higa has, will actually watch him on TV!

So here's to Ryan, and Kev, keep working together so I can see you on a slightly bigger screen than the youtube one!

Also this video is... That's right.  Certified Awesome.  (having Arden Cho in any video certifies it awesome)

Friday, November 12, 2010

Sucker Punch Trailer - Racist or Just Awesome

written by: Mr. APA

A lot of blogs only seem to bring up things when it's overly racist or if it pisses them off.  Here at AsianAmericanTV, sometimes I just like to look at something and think about if it is racist or if it is just awesome.  We'll call it, Video on Trial.

Today's Video on Trial is the trailer for SUCKER PUNCH.  Why should I care about a movie called Sucker Punch?  Because it's directed by the guy who made 300, that's right, the movie with all that yelling.  This director also made "The Watchmen" so if you hated that movie, you may want to stop reading.  Personally, I was at the Midnight showing for both films so I'm pretty pumped for this.  Oh wait, I'm supposed to have journalistic bias. REWRITE:  I am only slightly excited for this film.  (I'm a liar)

Alright, here goes!  Racist?  Or JUST AWESOME!

So what did you guys think?
Here is some evidence on the "racism side"

Jamie Chung
Exhibit B
Sucker Punch film
Exhibit A

The film is definitely taking the more stereotypical aspects from our culture, see this Samurai Sword.  The guy wiping it, they didn't even show his freakin face!  They are stealing our culture, the least they could do is show an ASIAN GUY in the movie but nope, the trailer is missing all Asian dudes.  This happesn again when we're at the big Asian House.  Nobody's there, not even an Asian Guy to clean up all that snow.  I think Quentin Tarantino (Kill Bill) already made this movie.

Sucker Punch film
In case you didn't know they were Asian Robots, the director, Zach Snyder, put a Rice Hat on one
Now this part takes the cake, c'mon guys, look at this, it's three SAMURAI Robots, but wait, WHAT THE FUCK?  Why is the center Samurai Robot wearing a fuckin' RICE HAT!  Now that is some bullshit, the Rice Hat is not a good helmet defender.  See, the other two Samurai Robots get REAL HELMETS?  Why the fuck is the center/leader robot wearing a Rice Hat as his head protection?  Did the center robot think it was cool looking?  Is he doing it for fashion?  Since WHEN DO ROBOTS care about how they look?!?!?  FAIL!!!  I hope in the movie, the Rice Hat robot gets killed first.

ALRIGHT.   But remember, this is a TRIAL so I'll let the defense present it's case.  What makes this movie JUST AWESOME instead of Racist.

Sucker Punch robots

C'mon guys, it's got fuckin awesome SAMURAI ROBOTS!  That's freaking AWESOME!  Who cares if it's super stereotypical and perhaps racist, I forgive it because it's GOT HUGE SAMURAI ROBOTS!  Look at this, this girl has go to jump up Kung Fu style to avoid the huge gun to chop this huge robot in half.  That's FREAKING COOL!!  So ya, even though I called out the robots earlier, forgiveness is given because these robots are SWEET!  And also this huge super robot isn't wearing a Rice Patty HAT!

Sucker Punch

Jamie Chung Sucker Punch
I forgot what I was mad about
Looks like we got all the races represented here.  That's always a good thing.  There's a black guy opening the door for a Russian or Italian guy who's followed by a white guy... oh wait, do you see it, all the way on the right is an ASIAN GIRL!  She's hiding behind a door (idiot) but that's beside the point.  Who is this scared Asian Girl?

Well if you haven't noticed (I'm sure you did), this Asian Girls is FIIINNEEE.  She doesn't look as scared in this poster as she does in the movie but I'm sure she's just pretending to be scared so she can kill all the guys right after.  If you haven't figured it out, this girl is Jamie Chung from the Real World/Samurai Girl/Shitty Dragon Ball movie, but DAMN, she looks good here.

Now, the only silly part of this poster is that the photographer forgot to tell Jamie that she put her PANTS ON BACKWARDS, but that's OK.  I forgive the photographer, he might have been distracted by all that exploding stuff in the background. 

And that's the end of this post?  Once again, a woman has gotten in the way of what I was trying to do.  So in the end, I say that this movie isn't racist and just AWESOME.  I hope they put this in the movie commercial.

"Certified AWESOME (and not racist) - Mr. APA, AsianAmericanTV"

So what do you guys and gals think?  Leave your answer in the comment section below or on Twitter.  Is "Sucker Punch" racist?  Or just AWESOME!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Why Rebecca Hazlewood is Too Good for Outsourced

What's good, billions of fans out there!

This is your boy j. taipei here, and I'm kicking off my blog career with an entire post on the most beautiful girl I've seen in a while - Rebecca Hazlewood.

brown is now my favorite color.

She is currently the female lead in Outsourced, an NBC sitcom based on the premise of a white man (Ben Rappaport) having to manage an entire branch of wacky, zany Indians - IN INDIA! HILARIOUS! BECAUSE INDIANS IN INDIA WILL NO DOUBT BE CRAZY!

In fact, in NO WAY is the white guy EVER wrong! He's actually a saint because he teaches these Indians the error of their ways! What a good guy! What an outstanding patriot!

As you astute readers can probably sense from my tone (sarcastic, with a touch of sexy), the show, to me, is just a bit racist. So why do I keep coming back to it, week after week? The answer, my dear Watson, is elementary.

Rebecca Hazlewood, "Asha" in the show, plays the main love interest. Unfortunately, the director/writers insist on portraying her as brainless eye candy, and even though she (once) DARED to express a little displeasure in her (forced?) arranged marriage, her character is almost always reduced down to an airhead bimbo, laughing at stale jokes, cartoonishly hopping happily when she receives flowers, and fake-chatting animatedly with her female co-workers (some of whom, it seems like, were hired JUST for the scene) just so the male lead can lust after her longingly and see her as an object, merely to be "won".

Still, despite all of the above, every time she appears on camera, I can't help but smile a little.

Having to be an ignorant characterture of your own race should be a recognized and outlawed form of torture, not the accepted path to success in the media. Neither Rebecca nor her career deserves this ridiculous treatment. I read in an article (can't remember which now, I will cite later) that she responded to allegations of racism in the show by answering, along the lines of "the creators are actually negating those stereotypes by showing that Indians can get into various situations of life - just like other people can." I would love to get to talk to her one on one regarding this topic, because even if that really was the creator's intentions, the show still stinks of a holier-than-thou, white man's burden attitude.In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the next episode was just the white character using a megaphone and shouting "THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DO IT IN AMERICA!!!" into the Indian characters' ears.

I didn't start writing this article with the intentions of starting a dialogue on racial/gender stereotypes, but I guess I'm just getting a little worked up because she really is the perfect woman, and I'd gladly debate Lionel any day on Rebecca vs. Jessica Alba, and I'd win by a landslide, and I'd chop off Lionel's stupid, stupid hair.

It's not just that she has an amazing (Mr. APA: BANGIN'!) body, but her eyes contain more soul than all of the Pussycat Dolls put together (there are more than one, right? Right guys?) and she exudes both an impish mischievousness and an intimidating sophistication at the same time. A mature woman who is always down for a good time - what guy can resist that?

What a devastating combo.

In fact, I nearly fainted when she dressed up as Cleopatra for Halloween.It seriously was probably the best moment of October for me.

I don't care what my friends say. Cleopatra is sexy! Even if she's been dead for hundreds of years! So is Julie Andrews! and the Sound of Music was a great movie!

I'll leave you with some more pictures to close out the post, while you take some time to say goodbye to your girlfriend/wife/mother/loved ones and join me in petitioning for Ms. Hazlewood to be released from the sinkhole that is Outsourced and free her from the bondage of perpetuating racism against her own people.

This is a good cause, trust me fellas.

and maybe we can try to get her number too.

ok, your number is NOT 911.

I'm not scared to call! I've gone on TONS of dates in my life!

no I haven't.

I've kissed more than four girls! TAKE THAT!

sorry ladies, this Asian bachelor is NOW taken.

Hope this brightened up the day for some of y'all.
Especially you, Rebecca, if you read this!
Also, seriously, R, let's talk Outsourced.

Keep your head up.

j. taipei

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

ViewerMail - Your Kind Words!

written by: Mr. APA

When ever I rant about a mean reader, I can't forget to rant about our awesome readers!  So here goes!  Most of these tweets were a response to either the Jessica Alba article here and to my response to a jerk comment, see that response, here.

Let's start big with this response to Donny.

Wow, do you see this pretty white girl talking about how she ONLY DATES Asian males!  That is AWESOME.  Reading something like that makes life worth living.  And yes I agree, Donny obviously lost to some slick Asian playas and took it out on our poor little blog.  Thanks Tokyobratcammi for making my day!

I want to thank these two readers (women readers too!) for believing that I have the wit to take one a ONE LINE COMMENT that's spawned not one but two articles. Haha.  And yes, x0x0preciosa, I hope I did kill him.  This is also where I realized that a lot of our girls seem to be very pretty.  Like Tokyobratcammi is and so is xOxOpreciposa, and there's no pic of Mama but that cake looks very good so at least I know you know how to make a man happy.

Yes. ImLadyNicole! I agree, Donny is probably jealous that Asian guys are surrounded by beautiful Asian women.... (this is where I noticed ImLadyNicole's picture).... wait, what was I talking about?  I took a closer look at ImLadyNicole's twitter and discovered this...

WHAAAAAAATT!!! DDAAAAAAMMMNNNNN!!! 32op84klasfjas;lfj sa;lkdfj asd;fj as;fjasf...  Sorry, I forgot how to type for a second.  Now Ms.  ImLadyNicole of Twitter, (follow her and tell her I sent you so she likes me more) I'm not sure who or what you do (ur twitter led me to a account of which I discovered more awesome things) but I sure would as hell like to know... ok, now I'm not sure what I was supposed to be writing.  Who is ImLadyNicole and how do I find more awesome pictures of you... erg I mean.... Who is ImLadyNicole and how to a secure a one on one interview with you.... erg... .ok I give up, my brain has ceased to function.
Sorry, I was distracted
Ok, I forgot what I was writing so I'll just end with another tweet from more pretty girls (seriously, I should shutdown my and just use twitter to meet women).

This was referring to my comparison of Sarah Hyland and Vanessa Hudgens but another reader made another even more interesting point. (btw, thanks for the nice words Jennifer!)

Ooooh, good catch MademoiselleLy, let's see the evidence. (good thing I'm good at Google!)

 Good point MademoiselleLy, (are you from France?) Alyssa actually looks like a mix between Sarah Hyland and Vanessa Hudgens.  I could find her ethnicity but it seems like she is normal latino without any Asian in her (yet ;) There must be some factory where they make girls like this.  Where do I sign up.  Who is  Alyssa Bernal? She's a hot young singer from youtube who recently signed to Interscope Records.  In an awesome twist of Asianness, WongFu Productions directed her new video!

So I'll leave you with that.  Alyssa Bernal's cali cali video which features Phil Wang in the beginning on vacation with a hot white girl.  Love y'all!  Keep the comments coming!  Oh man, I hope I just didn't scare off everybody from sending me a nice message.

Monday, November 8, 2010

More viewer mail! Meet - ' Donny '

written by: Mr. APA

After doing an article on accidental racism, I followed it up with an article about why Jessica Alba should date an Asian guy.

We were greeted by a nice little message from Donny that said. 

Jessica Alba Cash Warren
Director Assistant Salary < Price of Courtside Seats
Now that's just rude, isn't it?  How are you going to attack an entire male species just because of the way they were born!  That's messed up man, telling me to get over it?  Did I attack whatever race you are?  Did I say that Jessica Alba should not get with a white/black/other race guy?  Did I discourage her from dating Cash Warren even though he is a no talent leech who won't marry her because he's scared what he's missing out on!  That's right, I said it, Cash Warren, Jessica's bf who she met when he was the assistant TO THE director on Fantastic Four thinks HE CAN DO BETTER than Jessica Alba!  I didn't bring that up at ALL.... whoops!  All I said that is she should let an Asian guy impregnate her, not take her away from all men!

But anyways, I've gone off topic.  Donny, from your little short comment, I can determine three things about you.

1) You are a purposeful racist, unlike my Ken Jeong article where I talked about the rise of accidental racism, there is nothing accidental about this, you saw a chance to make fun of Asian men and you did it.  A cruel and crushing blow to the male asian psyche everywhere.  How dare you say nobody wants to date an Asian man?  Do you know what that will do to my confidence?  Next time I  talk to a girl, I will panic because I'll remember, "OH FUCK, DONNY TOLD ME NOBODY WANTS AN ASIAN MAN'  and that will haunt me forever.  I'll have to remember that you are a purposeful racist and are so threatened by my asian sexiness, you tried to make me think that no women want to sleep with me which would make it easier for your ugly ass to get more girls.

2) You are a coward.  Who the hell goes on an Asian American blog and tells them that all Asian men are undesirable to women?  Who WRITES THAT on the Internet?  A coward I say!  A coward who walks around the city seeing successful Asian men with beautiful Asian women and thinks, damn, I will never have the brains to impress that Asian Girls parents!  I know that anger is building inside of you towards my people when you see how impressive my college degrees and resume full of large financial institutions are compared to your 9 to 5 job at a small to midsized company where you are constantly frustrated that you never pursued your true passion of whatever aristic talent you think you have.  Trust me, if you were actually good at it, you would have done it.

3) You are an asshole.  So go fuck yourself.  Literally, please go masturbate and stop being so angry and uptight.  Please release all that stress so you'll stop taking it out on Asian males.  It is obvious this was your intention anyways, you wrote on our blog at 630 am on an article about Jessica Alba, clearly, you are were up late alone trying to find a picture to whack it too when you instead found my article and instead of whacking it, you just got mad at our blog.

Harold and Kumar
they will have some beautiful children (Harold and Kumar together that is)
So I see that your entire intention was to take Asian Men out of the dating pool.  By trying to convince us that nobody wants us, you think that will take us out of the dating pool thus making it easier for you.  Why?  Because you, my friend, Donny, are threatened by us Asian Guys.  You are threatened by the fact that we never had connections to get our awesome jobs and careers so when we are put in those awesome jobs that we earned, we more than excel and take the promotion you were hoping to get which thus makes us much more desirable to all the women.

Donny, you are concerned at how good an Asian Guy is at making love to a woman.  Because as Asians, we are intellectual, we are more likely to research how to have better sex with a woman unlike your selfish ass who thinks he naturally knows how to do it.  Trust me buddy, those girls stopped having sex with you because you sucked at it.

Finally, we're not assholes like you.  Women who marry us, actually end up enjoying their life because we don't stay up late at night writing racist white things on white people blogs, we are in bed with our wife feeling sorry that guys like Donny have so much pent up racism, they have to find a third rate blog to express their feelings. haha.  Ok, fine, we're a fourth rate blog at best.

Here's a video of a white girl who decides to see what life would be like with an Asian Guy.  It was part of the Interpretations Film Festival.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Why Jessica Alba needs to date an ASIAN GUY! (like me)

written by: Mr. APA

Now if you have followed this blog for a little while, you'll know that we are a fan of mixed couples.  Mostly Asian guys and white girls.  Now beyond just evening out the odds (trust me, there are a lot more asian girls dating white guys) there is a much better reason Asian guys need to date outside of their race.

Jessica Alba
The back of her head is ridiculously hot too
We all know that mixed kids come out super hot.  Take a look at super hottie Jessica Alba below if you need proof.  Jessica here comes from a Mexican father and a mother of french and danish descent, basically, her mom was white.

Now Jessica Alba came out DAMN hot and we should definitely promote more Mexicans impregnating white women so we can have more Jessica Alba clones but what I want to say is, there are already a lot of latino men pro- creating with white women so we are pretty much covered on that.

What made Jessica Alba hot is that the mix of the two races dominant genes produce a hotter specimen like her.  Now we know that there are already a lot of interracial kids but I feel that Asian Guys aren't really adding their mix into the gene pool!  If hot women like this are already being created without the asian guy gene, how hot could women get if asian guys started adding their dominant genes to the gene pool of mix kids as well!  This is why us Asian Guys have to get out their and start impregnating women.  Now only will women be hotter, but it will also end racism.

How will it end racism?  If everybody mixes together, we'll all look the same and nobody can really make fun of each other anymore.  No need for a twenty page thesis, I said it all in one sentence.

But now we must get to the real point on why Jessica Alba specifically needs to be impregnated by an Asian guy.  Please look at Exhibit A for proof.
Exhibit A:
Sarah Hyland 
One of these girls has a little Asian in them (it's the hotter one)
I've signed up to put some Asian inside of her
The girl on the left is Sarah Hyland, she plays the eldest daughter in the hit TV show, Modern Family.  The girl on the right is the very famous Vanessa Hudgens of High School Musical fame.  Now notice how they both look pretty similar but Vanessa is just a little bit hotter.  Sarah Hyland is a mix of Scottish, Irish, Dutch, and Welsh, (pretty much a bunch of white people) while Vanessa Hudgens is a mix of Irish, Fillipino, Native American, and CHINESE! That's right, there is a quite a bit of Asian in Vanessa Hudgens and look how she is slightly hotter than Sarah Hyland.  Vanessa has benefited from the Asian male dominant genes that have been added to her gene pool giving her the slight edge over Sarah Hyland.

Now imagine if Jessica Alba allowed the dominant Asian Gene into HER BODY!  How hot would the kid that comes from it be?  I tried looking up a mix of an Asian, White, and Mexican but I couldn't find it.   So Ms. Jessica Alba, you have a chance to make a super hottie child the likes of the world has never seen.  PLEASE!  All you have to do is to let an Asian guy impregnate you, just one!  Here's one below... 
Jessica Alba funny
                                                  Yeah, we're doomed.

Actually, we might be ok, he's coming out of a closet (literally!) in this picture so he might be more into Taylor Lautner than Jessica.