Saturday, November 20, 2010


written by: Mr. APA

So no, Angelina does not have ANY ASIAN in here and I would never want to put ANY ASIAN in her but seriously, sometimes you hear something so awful, you just have to blog about it.  So check this out, she just released her "new single"called, "I'm hot"  (no i'm not joking, it's actually called, I'm hot) and listen to it... it's so bad, you may want to just let it play while you read the rest of this song because I'm not sure you'll be able to sit through this song.

And before you hit play, I just want to say "I'm sorry."

Angelina Jersey Shore
1) The INTRO
Ok so right away, it starts out awesome.  This is actually my favorite part.
"Hey guys, it's Angelina, the girl from Staten Island is back and there's nothing you can do about it."
 After playing this song five or six times so I could write about it, the song is now stuck in my head and Angelina is right, there's nothing I can do about it.  Kill me now.

2) The BEAT

So, this beat is awful.  It sounds like it was made on an old Dell Computer.  Do any of you remember Ace of Base (They made the song "I saw the sign.")  This beat actually sounds like Ace of Base took a shit and then put that shit in a box for ten years and then stored that piece of shit in a hot and damp place where mold grew on it over that ten year period and then they took it out and made this beat with it.


Usually, Autotune can save horrible singing, but here, the AutoTune i think actually makes her sound worse.  Listen carefully, i think the AutoTune GOES OFF TUNE in the first part of the song, like she was so bad, she SCREWED UP the AutoTune.  Her rapping part is actually considerably better than her song because I think Angelina has the anger needed for rapping.

Vanilla Ice
He has PaulyD's hair

Like, the one thing that the record company HAD CONTROL of was co guy she was singing with.  Like, Angelina has to be the star because it's her song, but seriously, they can pick anybody to pair her up with and they chose THIS DUDE?  Who IS THIS DUDE?  He doesn't even credit on thing song because he gets awesome lyrics like "Do it Angelina's way" , "It's Angelina - like you never seen her" (he has to change the "her" to make it rhyme with "Lina") "She's busting all the doors down in Hollywood, she's doing things that people thought she never couuuuld"

This guy actually sounds like a robot.  Like, they couldn't find anybody to do a song so they created a robot that sounds like VINNY and made this fake robot Vinny sing.  Actually, now that I think about it, it sounds like VANILLA ICE with AUTOTUNE.  I actually think it's Vanilla Ice with Autotune. "Ice Ice Baby" to this Angelina song.  How the defeated fall even lower. 


For fun, I'm just going to pick out some of my "favorite" lyrics from this song.
I'm hot, so hot
I'm like an Ice Cream cone with the Cherry on top
 She's as hot as an Ice Cream cone with the Cherry on top?  So what, she's a warm serving of ice cream?  I hated warm icream!  That's awful!  So wow, I agree, you are awful Angelina.
I came to play, I'm here to stay
I'll do it my way, everyday
Now since Angelina left the Jersey Shore house not once, BUT TWICE, I'll assume this is good news because even though she says she's here to stay, past history shows us that she'll be gone soon enough.
I even hopped a cop
and popped his crop
 WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!?!?  She hopped a cop and popped his crop?!!?!? What the heck is a crop?  Urban Dictionary doesn't even have these words in it.  I checked!  Angelina, I understand you're making a song and you're trying to make it rhyme but writing gibberish lyrics doesn't count AS LYRICS!

Angelina finishes the song by repeating the name of the song,  "I'm Hot, "I'm hot" over and over again.  I won't agree or disagree with this statement since I think commenting on how a girl actually looks is where I cross the line.  So I'll leave it at that.

We contacted Angelina for a comment on this article.  Here's what she had to say.

Yeah, "eff you" too Angelina, for making a song like this. EFF YOU TOO!

p.s. - after listening to this song a few million times, it's actually getting kind of catchy.  Have I COMPLETELY LOST IT? 


  1. I don't know why I just listened to that... I should have just trusted your review that it would be terrible!