Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Why Rebecca Hazlewood is Too Good for Outsourced

What's good, billions of fans out there!

This is your boy j. taipei here, and I'm kicking off my blog career with an entire post on the most beautiful girl I've seen in a while - Rebecca Hazlewood.

brown is now my favorite color.

She is currently the female lead in Outsourced, an NBC sitcom based on the premise of a white man (Ben Rappaport) having to manage an entire branch of wacky, zany Indians - IN INDIA! HILARIOUS! BECAUSE INDIANS IN INDIA WILL NO DOUBT BE CRAZY!

In fact, in NO WAY is the white guy EVER wrong! He's actually a saint because he teaches these Indians the error of their ways! What a good guy! What an outstanding patriot!

As you astute readers can probably sense from my tone (sarcastic, with a touch of sexy), the show, to me, is just a bit racist. So why do I keep coming back to it, week after week? The answer, my dear Watson, is elementary.

Rebecca Hazlewood, "Asha" in the show, plays the main love interest. Unfortunately, the director/writers insist on portraying her as brainless eye candy, and even though she (once) DARED to express a little displeasure in her (forced?) arranged marriage, her character is almost always reduced down to an airhead bimbo, laughing at stale jokes, cartoonishly hopping happily when she receives flowers, and fake-chatting animatedly with her female co-workers (some of whom, it seems like, were hired JUST for the scene) just so the male lead can lust after her longingly and see her as an object, merely to be "won".

Still, despite all of the above, every time she appears on camera, I can't help but smile a little.

Having to be an ignorant characterture of your own race should be a recognized and outlawed form of torture, not the accepted path to success in the media. Neither Rebecca nor her career deserves this ridiculous treatment. I read in an article (can't remember which now, I will cite later) that she responded to allegations of racism in the show by answering, along the lines of "the creators are actually negating those stereotypes by showing that Indians can get into various situations of life - just like other people can." I would love to get to talk to her one on one regarding this topic, because even if that really was the creator's intentions, the show still stinks of a holier-than-thou, white man's burden attitude.In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if the next episode was just the white character using a megaphone and shouting "THIS IS NOT HOW YOU DO IT IN AMERICA!!!" into the Indian characters' ears.

I didn't start writing this article with the intentions of starting a dialogue on racial/gender stereotypes, but I guess I'm just getting a little worked up because she really is the perfect woman, and I'd gladly debate Lionel any day on Rebecca vs. Jessica Alba, and I'd win by a landslide, and I'd chop off Lionel's stupid, stupid hair.

It's not just that she has an amazing (Mr. APA: BANGIN'!) body, but her eyes contain more soul than all of the Pussycat Dolls put together (there are more than one, right? Right guys?) and she exudes both an impish mischievousness and an intimidating sophistication at the same time. A mature woman who is always down for a good time - what guy can resist that?

What a devastating combo.

In fact, I nearly fainted when she dressed up as Cleopatra for Halloween.It seriously was probably the best moment of October for me.

I don't care what my friends say. Cleopatra is sexy! Even if she's been dead for hundreds of years! So is Julie Andrews! and the Sound of Music was a great movie!

I'll leave you with some more pictures to close out the post, while you take some time to say goodbye to your girlfriend/wife/mother/loved ones and join me in petitioning for Ms. Hazlewood to be released from the sinkhole that is Outsourced and free her from the bondage of perpetuating racism against her own people.

This is a good cause, trust me fellas.

and maybe we can try to get her number too.

ok, your number is NOT 911.

I'm not scared to call! I've gone on TONS of dates in my life!

no I haven't.

I've kissed more than four girls! TAKE THAT!

sorry ladies, this Asian bachelor is NOW taken.

Hope this brightened up the day for some of y'all.
Especially you, Rebecca, if you read this!
Also, seriously, R, let's talk Outsourced.

Keep your head up.

j. taipei


  1. Nice. Someone said I looked like her so I've been surfing the web and found this. ~K

  2. She is beautiful & a must for my blog

  3. Dude, sarcasm is weak. By the way, India's arranged marriages are pretty standard, but you know, by calling it forced you sure do point out the error in their ways.

    I also find ironic your criticism of Todd's supposed objectification of Asha when your entire post is essentially dedicated to objectifying the actor. Todd is a character, what are you?

  4. Hi, where are you from? Because I'm from India, and I find the show Hilarious. I feel that sometimes you should let all the "racist" thoughts pass and just enjoy a show for what it is. And Yes to answer everyones question, if a call centre here is based in a place like the one seen in a show there will most definitely be, at some point in time, a cow grazing just outside. Just yesterday I was stuck in traffic caused by a herd of cows crossing a busy intersection of the capital city! You may feel that certain characteristics are racist, but some of us really do have them. And its no reason to not laugh thinking it'll hurt the sentiments of the race, that itself is racist.

  5. To the DEAREST BLOGGER....
    Your "blog Sxxks"
    No need to say thanks, coz you deserve this....
    And please stop blogging around in the interest of mindful people who can actually get through the sense of the show.