who WRITES this crap?

She thinks I'm gay

I was an Asian Guy that came out of the uterus of a white girl.  It's true, my parents had to get a surrogate so I've been getting white pussy my whole life.  As I got older though, I found it much harder to get with white girls, this really annoyed me, so I went to TV to see how Asian Guys got white girls on TV and realized I was doomed.  Even if I'm a super Kung Fu guy like Jackie Chan and save Jennifer Love Hewitt, I still wouldn't get to sleep with her.

So what did I do?  I got a really good job that pays well and now I get all the white girls I want.  Take a look at my bio pic and you'll see how well I'm doing......  ok fine, here's my bio, I'm 27, broke, and still living in my mom's house.  I'm going to go kill myself now.

This finger? That's how big my dick is.

What up PLAYAS!  Check this, Grace Park, Kelly Hu, your mom, do you know what they all have in common?  I've jerked off to all of them.  Yeee, that's right, I said it.

You see my hair?  It's freakin awesome, most asians can't pull off a mullet, but you know what, I totally can because I'm sweet.
These sunglasses, I don't put them because I'm ugly, I put them on to hide my awesome eyes.  I'm like a vampire, if I stare into your eyes, you will not be able to keep your mouth away from my balls, I can't have fat chicks doing that!  Fat chicks see my eyes, and they start thinking my dick is a german sausage and I can't fight off no fat chick when she wants some meaty sausage so that's why I got the glasses.   

I also volunteer bi-weekly at a Nursing Home.  


honor for the country!

I write mostly historical and political pieces involving politicians saying stupid stuff about Asian people.


i am so lonely...

I am a 40 year old hipster from Brooklyn. I have three cats. And two mothers.